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The Ultimate Relationship Guide: Ma…
A relationship is said to be healthy if it is built on trust, mutual respect, love, forgiveness, tolerance, good communication, and honesty.
In a healthy relationship, you are always yourself when you are with your partner. You don’t try to change just to fit in, except if you have some toxic behaviours they dislike.
Healthy relationships are not relationships without quarrels and arguments. There is no relationship without a crisis.
When you do something wrong, your partner will rebuke you with love, without criticizing you.
You may engage in quarrels or arguments, but at least, you try to resolve everything amicably, without inviting a third party.
It is the type of relationship where you nor your partner take each other for granted. You feel heard when expressing your feelings.
You pay attention to each other, and most times, you compromise just to keep the relationship moving.
In a good relationship, boundaries are often set and well respected by the couple.
It is a relationship where love abounds. You love each other not because of what you benefit from the relationship. Rather, you love each other because of who you are.
Such a relationship is characterized by tolerance and forgiveness.
Your partner may provoke you, but you will never go to bed angry.
It is a relationship where a couple learns to swallow their ego. It is not a pride-filled relationship. You always see each other as equal partners.
Turning a relationship into a healthy one does not happen overnight. It takes patience, tolerance, love, and total commitment to building any relationship.
You may encounter some challenges at the earlier stage of the relationship, but with good communication, tolerance, and total commitment, you will turn your relationship into a good one.
6 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
#1. Good Communication
Proper use of communication defines every relationship.
In a healthy relationship, you discuss relevant things affecting you and the relationship.
Your partner pays attention to you when you express yourself. They don’t try to play on your intelligence.
When you encounter some challenges in your relationship, you resolve them without allowing them to ruin your relationship.
A relationship is said to be healthy if you can freely say your mind without fear or being judged or criticized by your partner.
Here are the ways to improve communication in your relationship
2. Respect for each other’s boundaries
Every good relationship has a boundary.
What differentiates a healthy from unhealthy relationship is the ability of the couple to set and respect each other’s boundaries.
A relationship is termed ‘healthy’ if only you respect each other.
How do you react when you are angry? Do you just get mad at your partner in every slightest provocation?
What of abuse? Do you often abuse your partner when you feel bad? For instance beating them, forcing them to have sex with you when they don’t want to, etc.
If any of these occurs in your relationship, then your relationship is not healthy.
In a healthy relationship, you don’t try to manipulate your partner.
Examples of manipulations are; the constant threat to break up with you if you don’t grant their (your partner’s) request, passive aggression, etc.
Here are the ways to identify a partner who is controlling in nature.
3. You are always honest with each other
You cannot talk about healthy marriage or relationship without mentioning honesty.
Honesty is the ability to say the truth no matter the circumstances surrounding you.
It is not all about telling the truth. But how does your partner react when you tell them the truth especially in private matters?
For instance, telling them about your past life or relationship.
4. You don’t doubt each other
Trust is another sign of a good relationship.
You don’t doubt your partner’s faithfulness to you.
It is said that ‘love believes all things’. In other words, you believe your partner not because you ought to, but because you are convinced that he/she is telling the truth.
The moment you stop trusting your partner, the moment your relationship is heading to an end.
Most relationships fail as a result of lack of trust.
Here is how to build trust in a relationship
5. It is a relationship where forgiveness reigns
No relationshp is said to be healthy without forgiveness.
Forgiveness is all about your ability to let go of wrongs, even when you ought not to.
When your partner offends you and finally apologize to you, you pardon.
Forgiveness isn’t an easy thing at all.
Infact, it is more easier to forgive than to forget.
That you pardoned your partner but still remember their fault doesn’t mean your relationship is toxic.
It is just a matter of time, everything will disappear from your mind.
6. You tolerate each other
Without tolerance, no romantic relationship will last.
A relationship is said to be healthy if the couple have the ability to accomodate each other.
Your partner may have some characters you dislike, but you tolerate them.
No one is perfect. And there is no relationship without crisis.
Anyone who says he/she doesn’t encounter any challenges in his/her relationship is a liar. There must be something in your partner, you dislike, but you focus more on the things you love about them. That is just the difference.
So, if you are trying to figure out what a healthy relationship is like, it is a relationship where you tolerate each other and learn to compromise in some cases.
How to make your Relationship Healthy
Building a relationship to become healthy requires some level of commitment from the couple.
The first thing you need to do is to commit yourself totally in the relationship.
If you don’t invest in your relationship or marriage, don’t expect it to be something else.
You need to make your relationship your priority. Not only you, but your partner also.
Two cannot work together except they agree.
So, be totally committed in your relationship. For couples, let your family or marriage come first in your life.
Most relationships fail as a result of placing other things first before your family. Take care of your family first before counting on any other thing.
The second way to build a healthy relationship is to improve your communication skills.
When last did you have tete a tete (love talk) with your partner?
Do you think you can make your relationship strong if you don’t have the necessary skills needed in communication?
Learn more about how to improve your communication skills in this article.
I personally recommend you learn how to entertain your partner.
Tell him/her some stories. Engage in riddles and jokes. Don’t allow your love life to go down completely. Stir it up.
Every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to attain to your satisfaction. You can do that by working on your communication.
Try as much as possible to discuss with your partner before going to bed.
When you misunderstand each other, don’t go to bed without resolving the issue(s). The more you live it, the more it is likely to ruin your relationship.
While working on your communication skills, be a good listener.
Don’t do all the talking. Allow your partner to express him/herself.
Finally, learn to trust and forgive each other.
No relationship can ever survive without trust and forgiveness.
For the men, always remember that your wife or girlfriend is a weaker vessel.
Offences will surely come. But learn to forgive and move on.
For the women, always respect your man.
Every man is born with pride. And no man will ever want any woman to mess up with this pride in him.
When I say ‘pride’ I don’t mean an ego filled partner. Someone who doesn’t admit that he is every wrong.
But I mean, every man wants to be treated like a King.
For you to be the Queen, learn to respect him.
Healthy Vs Unhealthy Relationships
Unhealthy relationship is the direct opposite of a healthy one.
An unhealthy relationship is full of abuses.
For instance, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, etc.
It is not called unhealthy relationship simply because the couple are not compatible with each other.
They may be compatible. In fact, he/she may be their soul mate. But as a result of what is happening in the relationship, you tend to feel bad and dissatisfied with the relationship.
So, even if you are married to the right man or woman, or about to get married to your life partner, but you still feel bad about your relationship, it means the relationship is sick.
That you found yourself in a bad relationship does not necessarily mean that you are with the wrong partner. But there are certain things you are not doing that is affecting your relationship.
For instance, according to medical research, the lack of a balanced diet causes edematous malnutrition (Kwashiorkor). In other words, when a relationship lacks the necessary ingredients needed to stir up its aroma (love), it will surely be sick.
The ingredient I am talking about are:
- Good communication skills
- Trust and forgiveness
- Honesty, etc.
In conclusion, no relationship ever began without some challenges like misunderstanding, quarrels, money issues, etc. But with good communication skills, trust, forgiveness and tolerance, you can make your relationship to be among the best.
It’s your turn. Talk to me in the comment box below.